What??? I know. That’s how I’m feeling right now. I’ve not slept well for the last two nights.
It began on Wednesday. My good friend arranged for a night out for a bunch of us to see John Digweed at the Mayan. In our world, Digweed is the uncle, some might say the grandfather, of big-sound, large-venue electronic music experiences. John’s been around for a long time and he only gets better. Two nights ago, John Digweed brought me to a state of sheer bliss.
I needed to let go on Wednesday night. I hadn’t danced, really danced, in a very long time. I wanted to be compelled. I didn’t want to have to try. I wanted the music to call me, to bring me to my knees in surrender. It did. I let go of so many doubts, fears, worries and cares that night. I let go of expectations, of feeling less than or greater than, of feeling that life is from without, when it is actually from within. All of this I released. And it was stunning. And it was perfect. And it was divine.
I got home at 2:30am. My daughter woke up at 5 something am. I had a private client in Malibu that morning at 11am.
After teaching, I was exhausted, but blissful. I picked up my daughter from preschool and took her to Gymnastics. Later, we hosted a family dinner over our house with our good friends and their boy, same age as our girl. It all went well.
About 10pm last night, my husband and I decide to catch up on Game of Thrones. That’s when the crying and bad dreams started. Our little girl was having nightmares and screaming. When I would go to her, she would semi-wake up and tell me either she wanted water or her ears hurt. This went on all night and I ended up sleeping in her room next to her, so as to save myself a trip walking back and forth every time she woke up and called for me. Needless to say, we didn’t really sleep well.
This morning, I cancel all my classes and make an appointment to take her to the doctor. Just before we leave, one of our birds, Ben, just dies. Right there, in front of us, as I’m holding him and Kaia is crying and sobbing, “Why is he dying, mama?” I have no idea.
We make our way out of the house, stopping by my pre/post natal class just to make sure that if someone showed up, that I could tell them, in person, why class was being cancelled. We make our way back to Malibu to pick up my yoga mat that I left in my private client’s house the day before. Then to Santa Monica for some chicken soup for lunch, and then Beverly Hills for my daughter’s doctor’s appointment.
I cringe at the words, “Beverly Hills.” It’s more like Beverly Hell. It takes forever to get there, especially on a Friday. There is no parking, and everything is annoying. I am not a Beverly Hills kinda gal…at all.
We wait for an hour before we see the doc.
Three times now, I’ve bright our girl into our pediatrician’s office when she has been sick, and every time, our pediatrician has prescribed and insisted that we give our daughter antibiotics. Her office has never mentioned any other choices.
Today, it’s no different. The doc says my girl has an ear infection and prescribes her antibiotics. I ask, since there’s no temperature, if I can wait before giving them to her, explaining that I’ve been treating her with Garlic Mullein drops and Advil at night, so she can rest. The doc agrees, which is a first. In the past, she has always said that she recommends that I give her antibiotics right away.
Because I’m not crazy about antibiotics as a first line of defense, however, every single time, I’ve gone to our homeopathic doctor for a second opinion. And so far, we have successfully treated our daughter’s infections with just homeopathy, not antibiotics. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-antibiotics. I just don’t’ believe they should be my family’s first choice.
So, here we are. It’s the fourth time this has happened. I have a prescription for antibiotics I can fill if I need to. I am armed with Gemmotherapy and Homeopathy, instead. Let’s see what happens tonight, and tomorrow, and over the weekend. It’s now 5:30pm. It’s Friday evening. I still have a dead bird to bury, and I have to figure out what to make for dinner.
It’s been a busy couple days.
xo